Barack Obama

I suppose, since it is after all Inauguration Weekend, that I should at least briefly touch on politics, even though it is not something I've considered much since my days as a Young Republican. In fact, 2008 marks the first election year that I have not submitted an absentee ballot bearing the write-in, "Ming the Merciless" (while he could be quite brutal, one could hardly argue with his success as a leader; I imagine being President of the United States would be quite easy after having been Emperor of the Universe!). In truth, even as a Young Republican, I was more interested in their natty attire, posh cocktail parties and, I am chagrined to confess, the distinct whiff of old money one caught when lunching with them. At the time, my interest was quite sincere, but upon reflection, I had been blinded by their wealth, and their close-mindedness and latent hostility did not become apparent to me until they mistakenly took me for a homosexual. I tried to explain that I was quite straight, and even offered to conclusively prove my sexual orientation with our president's delightfully flapper-esque girlfriend (whom I'm certain would have been amenable; she often seemed as taken with me as she was bored with him. When inebriated, she engaged me in long conversations about non-YR approved music, the United States' unfair drug laws, and my days as a Rasti. Although upon reflection, it's possible that she was asking me in a roundabout way for marijuana. Hm. Either way, she was entirely unsuitable for our jack-booted President, and I rather imagine she is now a hipster in some urban mecca, perhaps even sporting a mustache!). At any rate, they did not receive this offer in the spirit in which it was intended, and quite literally chased me out of their association.

Fortunately, their persecution ensured my acceptance into the Lesbian-Gay-Bisexual-Transexual community, who were quite sweet, but who as I discovered later, labored under the same misconception. I'm not quite sure why I make this impression; I dress entirely appropriately to the subculture with which I identify (which in some cases has been rather similar to homosexual attire), and while I do occasionally use words such as "gay" and "queer" in the classical sense, I hardly think that alone should be evidence of gayness. Quite the opposite, in fact! One would have thought as well that the L/G/B/Ts would have finely honed "gaydars" and would be able to see in an instant that I do not share their predilictions; one would, however, be sadly mistaken. When I attempted to purge them of their misunderstanding, they said they knew what I was going through and would "be there" for me if I ever changed my mind. It was all quite confusing.

But I digress. In terms of our forthcoming president, I am optimistic. In addition to his youth and style, he is quite articulate, although those are not the only reasons I broke my streak of "Ming the Merciless" votes; no, due credit goes to the young Obama supporter I saw shouting obscenities at an octogenarian bearing a John McCain button. In addition to being quite lovely in her rage (homosexual, indeed!), she was breathtakingly inventive. If all she had called him was an "inebriate fascit f***" she likely would have won my vote for Obama, but that turned out to be only her opening salvo! Before it was all said and done, the object of her ire (whom from context I believe must have said something about stricter language regulation of the film and music industry) had turned an ashen gray and looked about ready to collapse to the ground! Had it not been for her cane, in fact, I think she might have. After our young heroine was done, I attempted to tell her of her success converting me into an Obama supporter (and, truth be told, ask her out for a hot toddy) but I believe she thought I was "yanking her chain," as it were, because she cut me off with an invective (a somewhat dissapointing one, to tell the truth, but one can hardly blame her for being a bit drained just seconds after completing such a virtuoso performance).

All in all, I do think Tuesday will be a splendid occasion; I fully intend on spending as much of it as possible in Williamsbug, celebrating with my fellow hipsters! Assuming, that is, that they will be celebrating; I get the impression that they approve of Obama, but they are sometimes a bit understated/ironic about their heroes. I shall have to be prepared to modify my "Huzzah's!" to "cool's" or, if necessary, even indifferent shrugs . . .